Anger Management: An Islamic Perspective

WE Muslims are followers of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), right? What better example of patience do we have than that of our own blessed Prophet himself? Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), who was sent to mankind to teach them good moral conduct, learned to control his anger toward the unbelievers and teach them appropriate expressions. He used to speak against being angry. We think that we have it tough, when one of his days was probably tougher than the whole of our lifetimes! When we look at his life, our own difficulties seem so pathetic in comparison. Imagine spending 13 years completely devoting his life spreading the word of Islam and suffering hardship. This was a man who had the burden of the whole of mankind's future on his shoulder. Yet he had the tolerance and self-discipline to be able to forgive those around him who were themselves so ignorant.
The best example of this was when the Prophet (peace be upon him) went to Ta'if at the time when the followers of Islam were at their weakest and the Prophet (peace be upon him) himself had suffered the loss of both his wife Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her) and his uncle Abu Talib. He went to this town in the hope that they would listen to what he had to say. Instead he was insulted and chased out of the town by the children who threw stones at him till (it was described) the blood flowed from his body to his feet making his sandals sticky with his own blood. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was so depressed that he prayed to Allah, who then sent down the angel of the mountains who asked for the Prophet's permission to fold the mountains together and crush to death all those that lived there. But what was the Prophet's reply? "Yes, kill them all as they did not listen to me"? No, of course not! His answer was "No, I hope Allah will bring from them people who will worship Allah alone, associating none with Him."
This was the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him), even though he felt bitterness and was very angry with them, he had the discipline and control to not let his emotions control his actions and he forgave them realizing that they were merely misguided.
One companion asked him : "Give me some advice by virtue of which I hope for good in the life Hereafter, and he said, "Don't be angry." Another person asked what would save him from the wrath of God, and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Do not express your anger."
Once the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked his Companions: "Who among you do you consider a strong man?" They said the one who can defeat so-and-so wrestler in a fight, and he said, that is not so. The one who is strong is the one who can control himself at the time of anger. He also said that "anger is like fire, which destroys you from within, and it can also lead you to the fire of Hell by your own expressions of anger unjustly."

So being angry is similar to being drunk. In both cases, we do not know what we are doing, hurting ourselves or someone else, and afterwards when the intoxication is over, we repent.

Sheikh Hassan Al Basri said that one of the signs of the Believers is that his anger does not get on upper hand over him. One should distinguish between natural response to wrongdoing and disbelief. A person who has no feelings about oppression, wrongdoing and disbelief is, in fact, an impotent person emotionally. It has been said, "Evil flourishes when a few good people do not do anything to oppose it." Thus response to injustice and operation in a civilized way is the appropriate expression of anger. Being neutral to injustice is equal to contributing to injustice.

HANDSOME IS THAT HANDSOME DOES

Here is story which will open your eyes and make you love your parents
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The father asked his son, "What is this?" The son replied "It is a crow". After a few minutes, the father asked his son
the 2nd time, "What is this?" The son said "Father, I have just now told you" It's a crow".
After a little while, the old father again asked his son the 3rd time, what is this?"
At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the son's tone when he said to his father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".
A little after, the father again asked his son the 4th time, "What is this?"
This time the son shouted at his father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"
A little later the father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his son was born. On opening a page, he asked his son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary:-
"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".
While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the father asked his son the same question just 4 times, the son felt irritated and annoyed.
Allah says:
“Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or
both of them to attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.
And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they
did care for me when I was little”. (Surah Bani Isra’el (17); Ayah # 23~24)
So……
If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but! Speak to them a gracious word; be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents. From today say this aloud, "I want to see my
parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".
Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

A British Teacher Finds Islam in Ramadan

We can all look back at memorable times in our lives. People and places can have a special significance for us and we need to look back, from time to time, to see how the hand of Allah has been at work in our lives, even though we did not notice.
We are often too busy to see the pattern which our life has taken and which has led us to where we are today. By reflecting on what has been, we can learn to be grateful and learn to see all things as part of Almighty Allah's eternal plan for us.
I look back at my first Ramadan as a Muslim and ponder on all that has happened in my own life since then. That first Ramadan was very special. Before talking about that, though, I need to say something about the two Ramadans before it.
I was Head of Religious Education in a Boys' School in South London and it was my responsibility to teach the pupils about the world's different religions. In English schools the pupils learn information about the six major world faiths: Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Islam, Sikhism and Hinduism, although no preference is given to any.
My classroom was the only room in the school with a fitted carpet and a washbasin, essential for the prayers.
Whilst providing information, it is supposed to be a way of encouraging tolerance and understanding in an increasingly multi-cultural world. It is one way, if handled sensitively, of counter-balancing the wrong ideas about Islam which British people get by the stories they see on the television news.
I had already visited Egypt and seen for myself how sweet and gentle Muslims can be. Now, though, I had to teach about Islam. Since I was not Muslim, reading about Islam was one of the ways I prepared for my lessons, learning as much myself as I would teach the pupils.
In schools in the UK, as in many non-Muslim nations, there is usually no allowance made for pupils of any religion who wish to pray. Many of the boys in this school where I taught were Muslim, and many of them were from the Arab world.
Just before the first Ramadan I was at the school, the pupils approached me and asked if they could use my classroom to pray, even though they knew I was not Muslim. Allah works in very extraordinary ways, using the simple things of life to work marvels in our lives.
My classroom was the only room in the school with a fitted carpet and a washbasin, essential for the prayers, so it was my classroom that was to be used. I agreed to their request, but the head teacher asked that a teacher be present to supervise the pupils. So, for the whole of Ramadan I sat at the back of the classroom every lunchtime, while the boys prayed the noon prayer and, on Fridays, the Friday congregational prayer.
By the end of that Ramadan I knew how Muslims prayed and I could recite the prayers to myself, even though I didn't know what they meant. After Ramadan we kept using the classroom at lunchtime for prayers, and this continued all year.
The following Ramadan, while still not a Muslim, I fasted along with the pupils, to show my solidarity with them. Not long after that, Al-hamdu lillah , I embraced Islam. But that is another story. The example of the students had led me to become Muslim. I then joined the pupils each day for prayers, the newest Muslim and the least knowledgeable of all.
That evening of my first Ramadan as a Muslim was a very special evening that I will never forget.
My first Ramadan as a Muslim, then, was to be very special. At the end of the holy month the pupils and I organized a special iftar meal for ourselves. Iftar is quite literally the breakfast, when the fast is broken. To celebrate the blessed night of Laylat Al-Qadr, when Prophet Muhammad is received the first revelation of the holy Qur'an, the boys stayed behind after school.
During the time between the end of lessons and the Call to Prayer we watched a film about the life of the Prophet. We then prayed the sunset prayer together, with the oldest boy leading the prayers and reciting the holy Qur'an in a very beautiful voice.
As the sun was setting, gathered together in that simple classroom, it was as though an angel came down to visit us. After prayers we had an iftar party. Everyone had brought some food or drink, however little or how lavish, to share with the others and we had a splendid meal.
Although this took place after the events of September 11, 2001 when many in Britain were deeply suspicious about Islam and Muslims, many of the non-Muslim teachers came to congratulate us and to wish us a happy Ramadan.
The head teacher had to be in a meeting, but he took some dates with him to eat at the time we were going to break the fast. The headmaster had learned from us that the Prophet used to break the fast during Ramadan by eating some dates, and so he wanted to do this out of respect for what we believed.
In a Muslim country it is easy to take one's Muslim faith for granted. Friends and family are there to encourage us in our fasting. There are special programs on television to help us know more about Islam and to keep it constantly before our eyes.
Celebrating Ramadan in a country that is not Muslim, on the other hand, can be difficult. Often you can be the only one who is fasting. After breaking the fast there may not be anything special to do in the evening, especially if there is not a mosque nearby.
That evening of my first Ramadan as a Muslim was a very special evening that I will never forget. It gave witness to others about the message of Islam and, for those present, it was a real celebration of the joy and the brotherhood of Islam which touched all of our hearts. Al-hamdu lillah.

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British writer who became Muslim a few years ago. Previously, he was head of religious education in different schools in the United Kingdom. Before embracing Islam, he was a Roman Catholic priest. He now lives in Egypt. For more information about Idris Tawfiq visit www.idristawfiq.com
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